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Posts Tagged ‘humour’

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Firstly let me wish you all, Irish and want-to-be Irish, a Happy Paddy’s Day! I have to say however that I was never a huge fan of the day, what is there to be excited about? Dancing kids, tractors with green balloons(how inventive) and marching bands clog hopping to out of tune tubas, oh and don’t forget the local football team walking in chaos behind the obligatory vintage car. Seriously do you think you would watch that assembly of mayhem on any other day? No, but for some reason it is so invitingly cute on March the 17th we all get involved. We brave the cold, wave the flag and paint pretty little shamrocks on our cheeks all in the name of Irish-ness. Then we drown the shamrock  get blind drunk, start a fight and play the fiddle…. well that is what those who perform like the monkey at the circus will do, happy to allow the world clap the happy-go-lucky Irish into their stupor. But what about the true spirit of St Patrick, the essence of what became known as the island of saints and scholars, a nation that held the beauty of scriptures and art while the rest of Europe plunged into the Dark Ages? A people who fostered great minds in monastery and monk cell across this green land. Well that essence is still alive, still holding onto the wit, the warmth and  vision to reach out as a light to a darkening Europe. We are a people with a God shaped shamrock in our heart, a people that have unshackled the burden of religion from our necks and are ready to breath the air of pure Christianity again….that may not fit into the performing monkey the world want to drown with Guinness tonight but it is a people worth celebrating……

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Dawn duels, tragic poetry and epic novels, Parisian walks by moonlight not to mention wars and midnight eloping,  have all encapsulated the whirlwind imagery of passionate love affairs. The red blooded impulse of undying, though often dying was the end result, declaration of a young man’s love for his soul mate is forever etched in our minds as a blood stained virgin holding the dying lover in her arms, whispering her unfaltering loyalty into his sweat dripped ear. True romance.

As we enter the love season, the heart shaped calender date of St Valentines, I want to look at the romance and standards of today’s minstrels and tragic romantics. What are today’s equivalent to secret notes passed under candle lit castle windows and poetry written by the soul of a wounded warrior, pierced with cupids fickle arrow?

Is it Facebook, the media outlet that allows a phenomenon that has never been equaled in any time past?

Would any sane person walk into a cafe and buy a coffee and a sandwich and  then jump onto the table of some stranger, shove the plate and cup under their nose and bellow, “Look, I am out for a sandwich with my husband (or wife etc) and I think they are great!” or would you sit down, and as you look into each others eyes, simply roar in an glass shattering shrill “I think my wife is the best ever, and I love spending time with them!”

No? I didn’t think so. However we are plagued with this self indulgent  and egocentric nonsense everyday on Facebook. Why would you type a message on a public Facebook page for a person sitting on the couch with you, and then counter the criticism with “It is romantic!”

Oh the churning of gravel and clay of past poets, minstrels and Knights can be heard as the web browsing hum drones in the corner of sitting rooms worldwide, now audible because of the silence. Silence that would be broken if the two people across the room would merely close the laptop, grab a jacket and walk hand in hand along a canal, make heart shaped leaf murals and please….leave the mobile phone picture capability at home.

Romance is private, love is intimate and pictures of sandwiches and coffee is annoying and rather irritating…..

Happy Valentines Day!

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While the turkey is still making it’s way to it’s final watery resting, I thought I would race through the most bizarre and random sayings of our family Christmas…fun perhaps and yes I have a blog and a wide audience so tough cheese to my fellow brothers, sisters, in-laws and parents.

#10 “Name something that is red?” ….. Answer given “A newspaper”

# 9   “Isn’t a stock market and a farmers market the same thing?”

#8    “I don’t tell lies, I just get carried away when telling the truth

#7    “I am going to lose a stone before the end of January. Oh, an you hand me over the pudding”

#6     “Name something black and white?”..answer given “A gorilla!”  Trip to the zoo needed I think.

# 5 “Can these things give an electrical….ouch!”

#4 Question “Name something you would bring to the gym?” Answer ” Steroids”. What the……

# 3 Question “Name something that is red?” Answer given “The Sea..Like the Red Sea!” What goes on in peoples heads.

#2 “The Turkey exploded!”

#1 “Can you go to the shop and get me toilet roll and curry sauce” hmmm…

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