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Posts Tagged ‘marriage’

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Dawn duels, tragic poetry and epic novels, Parisian walks by moonlight not to mention wars and midnight eloping,  have all encapsulated the whirlwind imagery of passionate love affairs. The red blooded impulse of undying, though often dying was the end result, declaration of a young man’s love for his soul mate is forever etched in our minds as a blood stained virgin holding the dying lover in her arms, whispering her unfaltering loyalty into his sweat dripped ear. True romance.

As we enter the love season, the heart shaped calender date of St Valentines, I want to look at the romance and standards of today’s minstrels and tragic romantics. What are today’s equivalent to secret notes passed under candle lit castle windows and poetry written by the soul of a wounded warrior, pierced with cupids fickle arrow?

Is it Facebook, the media outlet that allows a phenomenon that has never been equaled in any time past?

Would any sane person walk into a cafe and buy a coffee and a sandwich and  then jump onto the table of some stranger, shove the plate and cup under their nose and bellow, “Look, I am out for a sandwich with my husband (or wife etc) and I think they are great!” or would you sit down, and as you look into each others eyes, simply roar in an glass shattering shrill “I think my wife is the best ever, and I love spending time with them!”

No? I didn’t think so. However we are plagued with this self indulgent  and egocentric nonsense everyday on Facebook. Why would you type a message on a public Facebook page for a person sitting on the couch with you, and then counter the criticism with “It is romantic!”

Oh the churning of gravel and clay of past poets, minstrels and Knights can be heard as the web browsing hum drones in the corner of sitting rooms worldwide, now audible because of the silence. Silence that would be broken if the two people across the room would merely close the laptop, grab a jacket and walk hand in hand along a canal, make heart shaped leaf murals and please….leave the mobile phone picture capability at home.

Romance is private, love is intimate and pictures of sandwiches and coffee is annoying and rather irritating…..

Happy Valentines Day!

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4th commandment of staying married.

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The third commandment of staying married….

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#3 Do not misuse my name!

Ok, so guys you are in bed feeling a little stuffy nosed and heavy headed, and you would kill and eat one of the kids for a cup of hot soup. We have all been there, all us veterans of the dreaded man flu, you are not alone. However, to feel that at this time your wife’s name is to be croaked down the stairs, as you cough and splutter in your fragile state of the  affliction of man flu, is a BIG MISTAKE!

It will be met with mutterings of labour hours, child birth and a numerous amount of instances of how you are ‘a mammy’s boy’. And for God’s sake, never ever drink the soup if it is delivered with a slice of smile and tilt of head. The toilet is the only safe disposal of this suspect package.

We, the married men, know the transition from mammy to wife is a big step, and one that needs time, but in this case go back to mammy. Harden yourself, hold your cough and get to mammy’s quick for intensive care on the dreaded man flu, and never call your wife’s name in vain….

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Ten Commandments of Staying Married..#2.

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Right, so I thought after 15 years and counting of marital bliss,  I would start blogging ‘A Ten Commandments Of Staying Married’ for those young men getting hitched in the next year (like my little kid brother)

So, for obvious reasons we will start at number one.

 I am the love of your life, your wife, and brought you out of of the excitement of singledom and into the land of matrimony. Cleaning the crust form your eyes, styling your hair, getting your jumpers and shirts to match, and finally organising your friends list into “real friends” and then “these are no good for you” sections. In general, making you acceptable to mother and YOU SHALL HAVE NO CATEGORY OF SPORTS BEFORE ME!

Now listen up, and listen well. This one is crucial. Never, ever let your wife feel like she comes second to your favorite sports team, ever!

So in an endeavor to climb this obstacle to harmony, please take note of the following tips.

  • Over the age of 35 and getting a tummy? Well ditch that team jersey, sort of. Always wear hidden under a more sensible pull over or tartan check shirt.
  • Miss a game and go shopping. Now calm down, not a REAL game, just a pretend one. Record a game from the previous week, play the DVD, get out the snacks and settle down for a afternoon of sports. And just when she is heading out the door, jump up and holler “Hold on love, you know what? Forget this game, I am going shopping with you. It is far more important to see what your bum looks good in than a stupid results of a game!”         Cue massive points collection!!!!!
  • Never run around like a demented schoolkid when your team scores on TV. Rather, calmly pick up the coffee mug, politely asking her good self if she would like more coffee, then drop said cup in the kitchen sink, flip (if over 35, hidden) jersey over your head and make swooping airplane laps of the kitchen, and return with fresh cuppa….
  • Here is the tricky one, If your anniversary clashes with a game, well then I have little to offer you but this. What kind of sports fan gets married during the season???

 

Number two coming soon…..

 

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